Physically and emotionally , i'm depressed .
I'm hurt yet dissapointed . i've been acting weirdly these days , and every second i feel like shouting and crying my heart out , yet no tears would come out . Teachers & Parents look down on me . Friends - I have no say . at least not here .  Cousins / relatives ? - too complicated .  For once , i wished to be happy . found old photos , 2008-2009 . slowly my heart aches ): I miss those moments , better than it is now. I've put aside time for talking on th phone at night to reflecting myself . I've seen th chnges in myself , and th changes in my life . sadly , everyth is getting worse . no matter how hard i try , i fail . till now , i wonder why i'm living thys life . i don't see the point to anyway . & I'm fcxking pissed off with my Parents , i'm tired of them looking dwn on me , telling me i'm useless , comparing me with my sister . i'm aware she's better , cleverer and independent than me . and for once , i wished they'd understand me . & every hardwork i put on , they'll nvr praise . & everytime i ask for help , they'll nag me and say " slalu tanye akak kaw , akak kaw tkd slalu mntk tlng , tk pernah kaw bwart sendiri pe ?"  each words hurts me , its like as if  , thrs no use doing things , when everyth i do is wrong , useless and pathetic . i'm tired being looked down on , i'm tired being scolded for doing nothing wrong , i'm tired of being picked on . i'm tired of everyth . Most Adults expect us to realise our mistakes when they themselves don't . Instead , all they do is accuse us . i'm pissed , hurt , fustrated and more .  hmms .